Online dating has become the norm for so many people these days. With the lure of not having to put in “too much” effort. The convenience of jumping online and creating a profile is too enticing to pass up for many, especially those with social anxiety or who are too shy to approach people in person.
It’s hard to find the exact statistics, but popular dating app, plenty of fish has reported that over 100 million people worldwide use the app. That is a lot of people looking for a relationship.
Alternatively, the hook-up app Tinder has approximately 50 million users worldwide! Another alarming statistic is that 53% of online users lie on their online profiles. The top 3 things that people lie about come as no surprise is age, height and weight, and their job/career/income.
After all, it’s easier to lie straight off the cuff when you don’t have to look at the person your lying to. As a soul mate attraction coach and healer, I have compiled some of my best tips that have helped my personal clients to put their best foot forward when it comes to online dating and how to create their profiles.
Tip 1 – Thou Shall have a good profile picture
Have a profile picture that stands out-
This may sound elementary, but so many people overlook this number one aspect when it comes to online profiles. It has been said you have 20 seconds or so to make a first impression on someone and first impressions count big time when you are shopping for a mate.
I see so many unsightly pictures posted online and it’s not anything to do with looks or weight either. Here are some things to make sure of when choosing a picture-
- Take a picture with only you in it (no friends or anyone else should be in the picture causing a distraction).
- Face the camera and smile with your eyes. People want to connect with you right away and the best way to do that is when you are facing the camera with a warm friendly smile (no ice queen stuff ladies!)
- No “selfie” type bathroom shots with a messy bedroom or bathroom in the background or with the camera blocking your face so you can only see the body. This doesn’t convey an inviting message or for people to get a real chance to “see you”
- Shots should not be too zoomed in or too far out so people cant see you
- Don’t dress outside of your personality or how you would normally look. If you are a guy that wears shorts and t-shirts all the time, don’t dress up in a suit just for a profile picture. Same with the ladies, there’s no need to wear clothing you don’t feel comfortable in or you wouldn’t normally wear.
- No sunglasses or hats that hide you
- Use a fairly updated picture, do not use old pictures from when you were 20 pounds lighter and look completely different to know
Tip #2 – thou shall not lie
Don’t lie on your profile
While it may be tempting to stretch the truth about yourself online, it rarely ends well when a relationship has started off on a lie. Anyone with a genuine interest in finding a relationship will not take lightly a relationship starting off with a lie.
The other person will feel duped and weary of you and you will immediately lose their trust. Often when people tell a lie, even if it seems tiny or “insignificant” it lays the groundwork for more lying and attracts the wrong type of person.
If you have to lie, to begin with, to get a person’s interest, it just means that person is attracted to the lie you told and nothing good or foundational can start there. It’s best, to tell the truth, so you can attract the right person for you!
tip #3 thou shall be clear & concise
When creating your profile of likes and dislikes I see a lot of people make exceptionally long rant-like wish lists that give off an undermining tone and will cause people to look over your profile. Particularly I see statements like no liars, cheaters, etc. It doesn’t give any insight into you or your personality. You want people to feel who you are by what you enjoy, what you do, and who you are as a person. You need to be open with your non-negotiables, for instance, if you really hate smoking you need to be upfront about this. Don’t pretend to be easy- breezy to get people in, only with the hope they will change if you want them to.
tip #4 thou shall not copy
Write your profile in your own words, do not copy another person’s profile no matter how much you like it! I see this a lot, people glance at their competition’s profile only to be enthralled enough to copy it word for word. This just undervalues yourself and does not give a person a chance to get to know you, through your words.
The aim is to attract a partner that complements you in every area, especially humor and personality. If you are using someone else’s profile along with their jokes and quirks, you won’t attract the right person for you and you will have to continue the façade of someone else. This is a complete-time waste for everyone and doesn’t lead to anything good when you are faking it.
tip #5 thou shall be cheerful & have fun
Be positive, use positive language, and have fun. We’ve all heard the saying “misery loves company” and this is so true. You want to be the honey pot and attract the bees, you do that with positive energy and language. When people are looking for love and companionship they want to fall in love and have their fairy-tale ending.
If you are naturally a pessimistic person, you will most likely attract the same type of people because that is the universal law of vibration and energy – you can’t attract and magnetize what you aren’t. Lamenting about how you have been screwed over more times than you’ve had hot dinners is no incentive for the opposite sex to get to know you.
They will feel pressure straight off the bat not to be like the ghosts from your past and you will challenge them to prove it so. This is the same for statements like “ I just want xyz” and blanket statements like “all men/women are…”. Generalizing people with blanket statements are a turn-off and will cause people to not engage.
Statistically, over 20% of couples have ended up finding their partner from online dating. While online dating does get a bad rap from time to time it does have a lot of benefits, when used correctly. It’s important to remember to be yourself and have fun along the way. As cliché as it sounds you need to enjoy the journey along the way and have fun.
It’s important you don’t get desperate and bogged down in trying to find the perfect partner for you. You can be confident when you put your best foot forward, all the pieces will fall together and you will find the right partner for you!